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Bitch Details     10/9/2008  
 
 

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FELINE FRITTERS? ANYONE?  by Norm 10/9/2008 at 10:51
Mmmm... nothing like the smell of fluffy being basted with a nice lemon sauce. Check THIS out! I think eating cats could be an amazing solution to a growing problem in America, feral cats. In hopes that this post sparks an underground movement of Americans willing to solve the feral cat crisis, and take back our streets from these scheming vermon, I offer the following "recipe" for success:

First, you will need a quality cat trap.

I highly recommend opening a can of tuna and using it as bait. Tuna is like meth to cats--they can't resist it. Once you have managed to set the trap, and lure some of the neighborhood cats near with the tuna, simply leave the trap alone overnight. There is a very good chance you will have free fresh meat waiting for you in the morning!

Once you snap the cats head off with a blunt object (such as a common household hammer), you need to then skin it. Contrary to the popular saying, there really is only one way to skin a cat. You need to cut a ring around the neck, then pull the skin off going toward the tail with each tug.

After you have skinned it, remove the organs, especially the intestines and stomach. You wouldn't want to taint your delicous meat with some pesky stomach acids or random bodily fluids. Your cat is now ready for the grill!

TIP: Incase you have last minute visitors, it might be a good idea to trap as many cats as possible, clean them, and store the meat in a freezer.

TIP: If you run through your local population of strays, you can also satisfy your cat craving by ordering cat meat online.


Norm's Lemon Basted BBQ Feline Fritters

INGREDIENTS
1 Cut/Clean Feral Cat, 4-6 lbs
1/3 cup olive oil or melted butter
Grated rind of 1/2 lemon
2 tbsp lemon juice
1 clove garlic, crushed
2 tsp finely chopped parsley
1 tsp chopped fresh marjoram or 1/2 tsp dried marjoram leaves
Freshly ground black pepper

DIRECTIONS
Put all ingredients (except cat meat) in a small heatproof pan and beat well to combine. Place on side of barbecue grill to warm slightly. Remove the cat meat from the bone, and chop into 1-3" cubes. Place cubes on the bbq grill and cook for 4-10 minutes, basting regularly.

TIP: The neck and tail are also delicious, don't waste this precious meat!

Serves 2-4.
   

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