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Bitch Details     3/9/2010  
 
 

  MARCH 2010  
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CAPITALISM: A DOUCHEBAGS STORY  by Norm 3/9/2010 at 11:26
Ok Michael Moore. I was with you when you called out GM for being greedy ignorant assholes in Roger And Me. I tried to follow your logic and agreed with a lot of your points around gun violence in Bowling For Columbine. I applauded you in the theater as you showed George W. Bush as the true fucktard we all knew he was in Fahrenheit 9/11. I even sat through, painfully, your healthcare rant in Sicko. But THIS TIME you stepped over the line. The line that divides your average semi-douches and your hardcore, vinegary, super douches.

The documentary opens up with a half-assed comparison of the United States to ancient Rome. First of all, the parallels drawn are weak at best. Believe it or not, the world has changed in the last 1500 years. Comparisons to an ancient civilization, one constantly being torn between a republic and a dictatorship, embroiled in conquests throughout the region, torn apart by religion, and with the majority of its citizens profiting from slave labor are extremely ridiculous. The reasons behind Rome’s failure and our current economic climate of the United States couldn't be more different.

The main points of the entire first two acts of the movie are flawed to a point I am embarrassed for you Michael Moore. You first argument for Capitalism was that we had no competitors, because we simply destroyed our competition in wars (Germany, Italy, Japan). So that's why it worked in the 1900's. Sure, this might be the case for the automobile industry, but the last time I checked car sales weren't the main economic indicator?

As anyone familiar with economics will tell you, globalizing the market will only make things better for consumers in the long run. I know I would rather pay $0.50 for a widget made in China than $5.00 for one made in Arkansas. I could care less if some slack-jawed fuck in Arkansas no longer has a job because his company couldn't compete in the global market. I just want my god damn widget for the lowest possible price.

The movie then shifts to this religious bullshit. Interviewing catholic priests? Who gives a rat’s ass what these priests think about our economy? And "What would Jesus do?" is a hypothetical question we use for laughs, not a serious question you pose to someone in a documentary about something as serious as the future of our Country. You know why Jesus cared so much about the poor? Because HE was poor. And because HIS FOLLOWERS were poor. Poor people aren't naturally better people than wealthy people. Any literature alluding to this is obviously complete bullshit. And a catholic priest who thinks the "propaganda" around capitalism is alarming, and shows concern for people being influenced to believe things that aren't the truth? EASILY the most hilarious moment I have seen in a movie in a long time. The hypocrisy is astounding.

And "Dead Peasants"? Who gives a shit, really? Why do these families give a shit that someone got a paycheck when their loved one died? Companies have an investment in their employees, and it does cost them quite a bit when an employee suddenly dies. Why shouldn't they be allowed to insulate themselves from this risk? If you wanted a life insurance policy you could have taken one out too, paid for it, and got your 1.5 million dollar check. Don't hate on the other guy for being smarter than you are. There is absolutely nothing wrong with an employer being compensated when an employee dies. They took out the policy, they paid the premium. Unless you can show in some way that the employer contributed to their death in order to collect on the insurance, shut your stupid sobbing face.

The entire portion of the movie dedicated to foreclosures was also farce. Guess what Michael Moore. If you sign a mortgage with a variable interest rate, when the market gets bad, your payment goes up. And if you can't pay it, you lose your house. Doesn't everyone know this? Am I supposed to really feel bad for these stupid old bastards who couldn't pay the mortgage on their house and got the boot? And the bank is kind enough to give them some money for cleaning up their rat’s nest they left on the property, and you make the bank look like a bunch of jackasses for offering it?

And am I supposed to be upset that people are taking advantage of the market? Should I be outraged that some businesses are profiting off of others losses? Getting houses and condos in foreclosure for cheap and flipping them? Hell no. More power to those people. Someone has to make some money (other than the bank) in these situations! If you have moral issues with profiting off of others losses, that's all you. Feel free to not participate. But don't stand at your podium and preach to the rest of us like we have to do the same.

What about these poor people that got kicked out of their house? Then they come back and strong-arm their way back into the house? If law enforcement wasn't going to man up and remove these people forcibly, then the bank should have had a demolition crew come and take the house town. You can't let people set that kind of precedent! If you don't pay for your shit, it isn't your shit! You don't "own" your house until you pay it off. IT ISN'T YOUR HOUSE YOU STUPID FUCKS. The bank owns it until you pay them. That's what a mortgage is.

The documentary then goes to a place so twisted I can't believe Moore even thought of it. The insinuation is made that all Americans should be guaranteed a job that pays a decent wage. And that it somehow isn't "fair" for business owners, investors and management to make more money than the laborers. Are you seriously fucking kidding me? If I can't make more than the next guy by being smarter and working harder, why the hell would I bust my ass to climb the ladder? And just what is a "decent wage" anyway? Define living "comfortably"? What is comfortable for me I guarantee is not comfortable for others. So why would I force them to live the same way I do? What right do I have to tell others what their quality of life should be?

The reason FDR's 2nd bill of rights never made it anywhere was because it was, and is, RIDICULOUS. It's not the job of the government to guarantee that you will have a home and a good paying job. Sure, there were a couple of things thrown in there progressive minded people can agree with, such as universal healthcare. At least that can be debated by our top intellectual minds. But guaranteeing that farmers can make enough profit to make a decent living? Guaranteeing that local businesses can compete with major companies? COME ON. Only the dumbest of the dumb would think it's a good idea that government start regulating such things.

This documentary rambles on for an hour and a half before it even makes a valid point. Yes. I agree Michael Moore. Big business has too much of an influence in our legislation. Why didn't you focus the documentary on this topic? The rest of the bullshit leading up to this discredits the entire film and the one valid point you had. The bailout was totally fucking retarded. Just about everyone agrees on that. Yes, it's totally unbelievable that all of these bankers work their way into the treasury, dictate policy, then leave and get rich.

After watching almost 2 hours of your ramblings you then fail to speak to the most important topic. WHAT IS YOUR ALTERNATIVE SUGGESTION? Or was it your plan to just dump shit on America's economic system for 2 hours then not offer any advice as to what system would be better? Is it Socialism (uh, fuck that)? Or more regulations (good luck on that one)? Campaign finance reform? You are just like every annoying fuck I have ever met. A bunch of complaints and bitching, "life isn't fair", but you offer no solutions. You don't even have suggestions. Have you considered running for office?
   

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